I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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