I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
