It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
