yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize