i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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