your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
