So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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