finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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