Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Oh god it's open bar.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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