why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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