Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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