youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I could make wine with my vomit
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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