New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
if only i could text you this smell
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
