drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
