I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
