i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize