I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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