Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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