When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
