i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
