so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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