haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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