I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
