i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have demons in me.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
