This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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