I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
