It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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