Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?

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(301): View more from Maryland

please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!

(615): View more from Tennessee

I don't wanna die...

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(336): View more from North Carolina

This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.

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(661): View more from California

So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?

(818): View more from California

I hate you.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care

(571): View more from Virginia

That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.

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