Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
