Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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