no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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