Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
