Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
