Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
