The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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