The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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