Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
