Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
