there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
