yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize