oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
