Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
