I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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