I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
