I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
