I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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