Christians are straight up FREAKS
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
