you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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