i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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