whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
