What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
