I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
