i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
