that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
