you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
