Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize