oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We're too hungover to prance.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
