I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
