I'm going to jail i love you
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
