so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
