I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
