I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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