I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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