Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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