don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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