Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This baby is an asshole
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
