i just had sex bonerless
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
