His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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