how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
