Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
