i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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